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Disclosure & Copyrights: Image material created as part of a free collaboration with Shutterstock. Text originally from: “The power of hidden signals: choice of words – body language – emotions. Recognizing and overcoming non-verbal resistance” (2014), published by Linde Verlag, reprinted with the kind permission of the publisher.
From Dr. Gabriele Cerwinka (More) • Gabrielle Schranz (More) • Last updated on October 21.11.2023, XNUMX • First published on 21.08.2018/XNUMX/XNUMX • So far 7147 readers, 2164 social media shares Likes & Reviews (5 / 5) • Read & write comments
Depending on the situation, we are asking for a certain space around us, into which the interlocutor should not interfere. The invisible distance zone should be preserved in every conversation situation.
We try to push the other away from us by denying him direct eye contact. Even if we continue to talk to him, our gaze suddenly turns past him far into the distance.
An Behaviorthat the other unconsciously understands correctly, no dentist would be offended by it feel. Anyone who continues to stare into the other person's eyes in situations of forced closeness violates these laws of closeness and Distance, he starts a power game, he utters an open threat.
It is not always the physical proximity, which is too great, which is perceived as aggressive; it is the behavior of how the individual participants react to it.
The fact that the situation of "undue proximity" is forced or could be avoided also plays an important role. If the elevator is really full, I cannot keep my distance. If there are only two of us in the lift, things are different.
And is it really necessary that the colleague always sits on my armrest and obviously only in my computer the one I'm looking for Information finds?
Everything that is more than two meters away from us we call “public distance”. This includes speakers, actors, teachers and similar “public figures”.
We find it unpleasant when the actor suddenly jumps off the stage and tries to get us into the play. Or when the speaker in the hall suddenly suddenly stands in front of us and speaks directly. Who is already in the first row sitting in the school, in the direct shot of the teacher?
The signals we send out when one of our distance zones has been exceeded are usually very clear. The discomfort is palpable.
How we set this invisible boundary depends primarily on the role of our counterpart. We usually let our partner and the closest one get very close to us Family.
We don't just listen to their words, we want to feel them with all of our senses. The skin contact and the smell are very important. The success of the Communication also depends on this closeness.
A child who never feels the love of the parents will also feel in the Conversation have a hard time with them. Partners who no longer allow physical closeness elude the common basis. In this “intimate distance zone” the withdrawal of closeness acts as a barrier.
Our "personal distance zone" starts at about arm's length from us, i.e. at about 60 centimeters, and extends to 1,50 meters. This space fits friends and People, which we like to have around us, but which we still don't want to hug us all the time.
We like to communicate through words, looks or even through Spiegeln the posture. The common wavelength is there, even without constant skin contact.
Too much closeness can be like an invisible barrier even with good friends act - the relationship balance is disturbed. However, these zones around us are not all the same size:
The values given refer primarily to our front, our open, "vulnerable" body front. We also let others get closer to our lateral “bone front”, since we are better protected anyway.
So it is quite normal to get a good friend's arm. However, pressing them continually to the front during the conversation would be quite cramped.
Especially in friendships this game with proximity and distance is a very delicate, often underestimated. There are situations that require physical proximity, for example when we donate the best friend consolation.
Due to a sudden emotional exceptional situation, the limits are lifted. We allow the other to penetrate, we almost demand it. In other situations, such an intrusion - even the best friend - may be restrictive.
But because it is the best friend, we do not allow this slight discomfort and suppress it. At some point we then analyze why friendship is no longer what it was, and it is not uncommon to hear sentences like: "It was getting too tight for me, the other was really clinging to me!" Even if we're in the broadcast Sinn mean.
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Dr. Gabriele Cerwinka is a partner at Schranz and Cerwinka OEG and has many years of professional experience as a board secretary. After studying vocational education and communication sciences as well as international human resource management / organizational development, she has been a freelance consultant and coach for personality development, communication and office management since 1993. She is also a specialist book author and university lecturer. All texts from Dr. Gabriele Cerwinka.
Gabriele Schranz is a partner in Schranz and Cerwinka OEG; Vienna - Zurich. After studying business administration in Vienna, she worked in management at the Berlitz language school in Vienna. Since 1993 she has been an independent trainer and consultant for communication, professional appearance, process optimization and personal development. She mainly oversees projects in the service, doctor and assistant areas as well as communication in hospitals. She also works as a university lecturer and has already written numerous specialist books on the subject of office management and professional communication. All texts by Gabriele Schranz.
The power of hidden signals - Part 11: Distance between friends: Depending on the conversation situation… #profession #education
The Power of Hidden Signals - Part 11: Distance Between Friends -
The Power of Hidden Signals - Part 11: Distance Between Friends -
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