Depending on the situation, we are asking for a certain space around us, into which the interlocutor should not interfere. The invisible distance zone should be preserved in every conversation situation.
- Avoid the glances
- What is acting aggressively?
- Public distance
- Tangible discomfort
- Whom do we let close to us?
- Personal distance zones
- Close to friends
- Closeness and distance in friendships
- "It was getting too tight for me"
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Avoid the glances
We try to push the other away from us by denying him direct eye contact. Even if we continue to talk to him, our gaze suddenly turns past him far into the distance.
The Behaviorthat the other unconsciously understands correctly, no dentist would be offended by it feel. Anyone who continues to stare into the other person's eyes in situations of forced closeness violates these laws of closeness and Distance, he starts a power game, he utters an open threat.
What is acting aggressively?
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It is not always the physical proximity, which is too great, which is perceived as aggressive; it is the behavior of how the individual participants react to it.
The fact that the situation of "undue proximity" is forced or could be avoided also plays an important role. If the elevator is really full, I cannot keep my distance. If there are only two of us in the lift, things are different.
And is it really necessary that the colleague always sits on my armrest and obviously only in my computer the one I'm looking for Information finds?
Everything that is more than two meters away from us we call “public distance”. This includes speakers, actors, teachers and similar “public figures”.
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We find it unpleasant when the actor suddenly jumps off the stage and tries to get us into the play. Or when the speaker in the hall suddenly suddenly stands in front of us and speaks directly. Who is already in the first row sitting in the school, in the direct shot of the teacher?
The signals we send out when one of our distance zones has been exceeded are usually very clear. The discomfort is palpable.
Whom do we let close to us?
How we set this invisible boundary depends primarily on the role of our counterpart. We usually let our partner and the closest one get very close to us Family.
We don't just listen to their words, we want to feel them with all of our senses. The skin contact and the smell are very important. The success of the Communication also depends on this closeness.
A child who never feels the love of the parents will also feel in the Conversation have a hard time with them. Partners who no longer allow physical closeness elude the common basis. In this “intimate distance zone” the withdrawal of closeness acts as a barrier.
Personal distance zones
Our "personal distance zone" starts at about arm's length from us, i.e. at about 60 centimeters, and extends to 1,50 meters. This space fits friends and People, which we like to have around us, but which we still don't want to hug us all the time.
We like to communicate through words, looks or even through Spiegeln the posture. The common wavelength is there, even without constant skin contact.
Close to friends
Too much closeness can be like an invisible barrier even with good friends act - the relationship balance is disturbed. However, these zones around us are not all the same size:
The values given refer primarily to our front, our open, "vulnerable" body front. We also let others get closer to our lateral “bone front”, since we are better protected anyway.
Closeness and distance in friendships
So it is quite normal to get a good friend's arm. However, pressing them continually to the front during the conversation would be quite cramped.
Especially in friendships this game with proximity and distance is a very delicate, often underestimated. There are situations that require physical proximity, for example when we donate the best friend consolation.
"It was getting too tight for me"
Due to a sudden emotional exceptional situation, the limits are lifted. We allow the other to penetrate, we almost demand it. In other situations, such an intrusion - even the best friend - may be restrictive.
But because it is the best friend, we do not allow this slight discomfort and suppress it. At some point we then analyze why friendship is no longer what it was, and it is not uncommon to hear sentences like: "It was getting too tight for me, the other was really clinging to me!" Even if we're in the broadcast Sinn mean.
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