- Body signals as a career killer
- The vocabulary of body language
- Women - often like the good daughter?
- What does self-confident body language look like?
- Macho or nice guy?
- Where we underestimate the effect of body language
- Fatale body language: I can do it with me
- Top books on the subject
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Body signals as a career killer
Effect brings further. Incidentally, our great-grandparents already knew that: “Modesty is an ornament, but you get further without it!” You can also see that the man in the picture seems better, more competent and superior. But why is that?
Their effect depends on your body signals. Body language is a language like any other language too. It consists of vocabulary. The vocabulary of body language is the individual body signals. As soon as you can perceive and use body signals, you master the body language.
The vocabulary of body language
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- Men sit, for example, legs apart, women beat or wrap their legs over each other. That looks attractive. But those who want to make a career should not be attractive in the first place, but competent.
- Most women do not get close to what they want to achieve. Why? Because the body language is wrong.
- Men pose elbows while sitting. Women keep them close to the body or even have their arms under the table.
- Men like to stand legs apart, hands in pants or even jacket pockets. Women stand in the posture position: legs tight, body weight on one leg; Hands visible.
- Women often sit with their knees closed and feet turned inwards.
- Men keep their knees open and their feet turned outwards.
The list could be continued endlessly. if you im Everyday life the Eyes open, you will be overwhelmed by a flood of gender-typical signals. Unfortunately, all of these signals have one thing in common: “The postures of women act' says behavioral scientist Marianne Wex, 'with her arms and legs held close to her body, slimming down, belittling, belittling, belittling, humble, offering, withdrawn, hiding, mostly intimidated and fearful.'
Women - often like the good daughter?
This impression is of course completely unwanted and unconscious, but it has a devastating effect. Just as devastating as we experience it every day: while men appear competent to arrogant, women unfortunately all too often appear like well-behaved daughters. She is nice, nice, sympathisch – but you wouldn't want to buy a gas pressure turbine from her! Because they're just not tough enough for Business seems.
Which is ridiculous, of course. Childbirth is ten times harder than anything the business has to offer. But women seem to be way too nice for business. Because they send the wrong body signals. Does that mean now that you are to stalk through the corridors with wide legs like John Wayne?
What does self-confident body language look like?
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This is a popular spontaneous mistake. Let's clear it up right away: We are here to discover this. Women don't necessarily have to look like the good daughter. Successful business women who are not masculized show how:
They don't behave as arrogantly as men, but still come across as very competent and self confident. There are body signals for "good daughter", signals for "brutal guy" and signals for "confident business woman". We must take a closer look at what the latter look like. Because a woman is not a man. So she shouldn't act like one either. That seems ridiculous. Women have their own body language.
Macho or nice guy?
The body language of a typical man says: "Wait there, here I come!" Of course there are also atypical men who seem nice and nice. In America there is an expression for it: Mr. Nice Guy. This Term has in a typically male Society an unmistakably derogatory overtone: He is sweet and nice - not a real guy. Linguistic expression of a Chauvi society? Not at the moment:
The term is used more often by women than by men. Many women are also more into real guys. So while the typical man looks like a real guy, women seem nice, inconspicuous, sympathetic - just "female“. We all know and experience on a daily basis that men are typically boyish and somewhat arrogant and women are feminine.
Where we underestimate the effect of body language
But we regularly forget the effects that has! The effects of body language are constantly underestimated:
- Women are rather overlooked in meetings and meetings, not perceived because they seem so unremarkable. Typical reaction of the men: "Oh, the miller was there at the time? Right, now I remember. "That does not promote your own success.
- If you notice less, you will also be promoted less - because to whom a supervisor does not or only faintly remembers, he is not even in the short list for promotions.
- Those who are less noticeable are also often overlooked, underpowered, not taken seriously, less recognized.
- If you stand out less, you get less attractive projects, posts, tasks, customers, authorities ...
- If you get less attractive projects, customers ..., you are less noticeable as a result, which is why he / she does not get far as a result - a deadly downward spiral.
- If you do not notice, customers, colleagues, coworkers and bosses tend to stop you, because the external appearance suggests: You can do it with the / you!
Fatale body language: I can do it with me
That's exactly what many women tell me in women's seminars and coaching sessions: "I sometimes have the impression that the guys in the Office think: You can do it with her!” That's true! Men think that and admit it to each other. And why? Because women often give this impression.
They do not make that impression consciously, but unconsciously - that's why he's so dangerous. Most women do not realize what fatal body signals they send! They think the bad men are to blame. But actually they invite the men with their unconscious signals to: "Come, pull me over the table. You can do it with me! "
Top books on the subject
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