Hardly anything hurts us as much as unjustified criticism, especially when it appears as a poisoned compliment, so-called negging. We'll show you how to react to it.

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Basics about negging

Negging is a questionable one Strategy, which aims to self-confidence to weaken a person in order to weaken their awareness to win. Negging, also known as a poisoned compliment, is often discussed in the dating scene, but it is increasingly recognized and rejected as a manipulative tactic.

However, negging also occurs in other contexts, such as: Job and generally in Everyday life. It is important to understand that real interpersonal relationships depend on Respect, honesty and Esteem should be based, not on that Tampering or humiliation of others People.

How does negging work and how do you deal with it?

The Idea Behind negging is that a person who makes negative comments or belittling creates a feeling of insecurity or self-doubt in the other person. This is intended to cause the person to make greater efforts to gain the approval or approval of the person negging.

Negging therefore often involves seemingly harmless or subtle negative comments intended to unsettle or hurt someone under the pretense that it is meant as a compliment or playful tease.

It's important to emphasize that this is not a healthy or respectful way to interact with other people. Instead it is useful, positive and supportive Communication to cultivate that is based on honesty and appreciation. Mutually encouraging and respecting others' feelings and self-esteem is crucial to healthy relationships and interactions.

Negging in a professional context

In professional settings, negging can have similar effects as in personal relationships, although perhaps more subtle and in different forms. Neggging on Workplace refers to tactical or manipulative communication techniques designed to undermine an employee's self-esteem or authority in order to gain a superior position or Control to win.

This can take the form of derogatory comments about a person's work, subtle criticism of ideas, or constant belittlement of them Performance express. Sometimes it can also take the form of passive-aggressive comments or indirect innuendos aimed at destabilizing or making someone feel unsafe.

The classic example of a poisoned compliment

"Well, I found your discussion very interesting," remarks a colleague after you've finished your report. “Your suggestions, while impracticable, are genuinely original. And what I also missed was a certain Order your thoughts.

It was all messed up, I could hardly follow you. But you put it well. ” Such quirky statements are uncomfortable, you don't know what to say on them. And that is exactly the purpose of the "poisoned" compliment. They are supposed to think you are being complimented so that you do not realize that you are actually being attacked.

Irony as a poisoned compliment: “I wasn’t bored at all”

Of course, the “poisoned compliment” is occasionally used ironically or even maliciously. From a rhetorical perspective, irony as a poisoned compliment can also be seen as an artistic form of expression insult see what is hidden behind seemingly friendly words or sarcastic remarks. It is a subtle form of criticism wrapped up in a perceived praise or positive statement. At first glance it may seem like a compliment, but upon closer inspection or listening, it becomes clear that there is an intentional belittlement or insult behind it.

This type of irony can serve to humiliate someone by feigning something positive, but in reality it aims to reinforce insecurities or self-doubt. It can be confusing because it's hard to tell whether it's sincere praise or a hidden insult. People who use such poisonous compliments ironically or maliciously often do so to exert power, dominate someone, or to emphasize their superiority.

"A great Lecture, I was not bored at all. At most the last few minutes.” – “Great, so you think I’m such a bore that if you don’t doze off until the last ten minutes it’s a top achievement for you? Have I understood that correctly?" – “No, I really liked it. But it is the case that all lectures have a slack point at some point. At least that's how I feel."

That's what lies behind it: fear of open criticism

Such “poisoned compliments” are quite common in everyday professional life. The reason: the person you're talking to doesn't dare to speak to you openly criticize - but what he actually wants. So he builds a more or less hidden barb into his praise. But why this camouflage? There are two different reasons for this:

The other doesn't want to hurt you at all costs. Straight Executives They shy away from open words because they think that they first have to praise thoroughly if they want to criticize. A serious mistake. The other person wants to belittle you. Maybe he fears you as a competitor or he just doesn't like you. Of course he can't admit either of these things, so he acts as if he means particularly well to you.

How to properly deal with negging in the workplace

Neggging in a professional context can be done by colleagues, superiors or even customers go out. It can cause employees to feel insecure, lose confidence, or even doubt their abilities. This can negatively impact morale, productivity and ultimately the work environment.

It is important to recognize negging in the workplace and respond appropriately. This can mean klare to set boundaries, not to tolerate such behavior and, if necessary, that Conversation with superiors or HR to seek support. Open communication and treating each other with respect are crucial to maintaining a positive and productive work environment.

The negging corporate culture: When everyone praises falsely

Unfortunately, this isn't as easy as it sounds, as sometimes negging is actually part of the corporate culture: in some Companys A fatal addiction to harmony has become established. First of all, you find everything that is “done” right and great. Criticism is something negative that discourages others. So first “build people up” with praise before you can start telling them what you really think of their performance: namely, nothing.

This dishonesty has serious consequences. It's becoming less and less possible to actually praise and actually give constructive criticism to practice. Because everyone asks: What does he mean Executive really now when he says: “We have had a great year. Without exception, all of them did a first-class job. For that I wanted to thank you sincerely. " - Is everything really fine or is there a colossal wave of layoffs imminent?

Being secretly blackened and how to deal with it

This is the real domain of the "poisoned compliment": Actually, someone wants to say something mean about you, to belittle you, to blacken you. But if it were done openly, you could fight back or take sides for yourself. Then your conversation partner would look bad.

So he sends a compliment ahead - as a false track, so to speak, so that everyone thinks he's on your side. In addition, the compliment in the group is his drawing line, so to speak. If the "poison" thing doesn't work so well and the crucial people are on your side, then he can withdraw on the compliment.

What are you doing about it? You have to somehow find out what the other person really means. You have two to do this ways open: The question (“What do you mean?”) or the interpreterTechnology, which you are about to get to know. Furthermore, you should make it clear to the other person that you value an honest objection more than lying praise.

How do you deal with “great for your standards” praise?

Compliments are particularly perfidious, which are given the addition: “For your circumstances” or “for you”. A wonderful lecture - for your circumstances. Objectively, the thing was terrible, but since you are completely incapable, a terrible lecture "for your circumstances" is still wonderful.

There is a simple way to fight back: you call the degradation of your person by its name. You might want to escalate things a little. Once you have disclosed the allegation, you should follow up with a question to clear up any confusion: “Is that what you meant to say? Did I understand you correctly?” You can for sure be: Your interlocutor has not packed his poison in a sweet compliment without reason. Usually he will give small. Or he is now openly critical. But then everyone knows where they stand.

Conclusion: Recognizing poisoned compliments takes practice

Recognizing a poisoned compliment often requires a sense of the context, tone, and relationship between the people involved. It is important to be aware that seemingly friendly statements can also have negative intentions and that such communication methods can significantly impact the trust and well-being of others. Communication and praise should be part of a respectful relationship Honestly and be sincere, without hidden agendas or negative connotations.

The fact is: Poisoned compliments are like hidden traps in kind words that damage self-esteem and... emotions a person can undermine. It is important to recognize the subtle nuances of communication and to be aware that not every praise or seemingly friendly statement is meant positively. In a respectful interaction, honesty, appreciation and clarity should be the focus, without hidden intentions or hidden insults. By recognizing the power of words, we can help create an environment based on sincere recognition and support, thereby promoting healthy and respectful communication.