It means who asks leads. But if you get your counterpart to speak without asking, you will come across Objective. Because most People tend to, Ask to answer in a way that puts them in a good light with the answer, direct questions prove to be of little use.

Make others speak

What really bring questions?

It is indeed a widespread view to keep people more intelligent, the faster, more persistent, more versatile and tireless they ask questions,

For example, how do you feel when you are at a decision hesitate and be asked suddenly, "Are you unsure?" Does it strike you there? light admit that you are insecure. Who wants to admit to being undecided? The immediate answer is more like this: “No, not at all. I'm just thinking."

Non-responsive answers

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Or what is your response if you are directly addressed to your feelings? For example: "Are you worried?", "Are you overworked?" or "Are you angry now?" Without thinking too much, most people provide a rational explanation in the style of, "No, not at all, I was just comparing different options."

That sounds conclusive and is meaningless, because it does not mention what they were thinking about or which options were compared.

Question-free communication leads to real knowledge

Contrary to a long-standing tradition of expanding the questioning techniques more and more differentiated, this method assumes a totally different self-understanding: to make the conversation partner unsolicited, usually leads to findings that are not openly expressed by any question so clever.

Because many people shy away from openly addressing feelings such as doubts, hesitations and indecisiveness, or worries, concerns and fears, etc., the unquestioning rises Style pleasantly away from the directive, restrictive questioning maneuvers that bear more resemblance to an interrogation than to an appreciative one Conversation.

Always ask yourself if your counterpart is really open for a real dialogue

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In essence, this means: Questions are only effective if the respondent is willing and open to respond. If this condition is not met, questions - no matter how differentiated they are - are always with the Risks linked to provoking answers that sound socially desirable.

If you keep this in mind, you will pause before each of your questions to reflect on how willing and open-minded your counterpart will be. You will discover that you can do without three quarters of your questions, because the basic prerequisite for real dialogue is not at all.

Acceptance as a key for open communication

This method not only promotes the willingness to talk in the simple exchange of information, it shows your special Effect when addressing feelings. If you speak openly about what you notice in the other person, show it Resonance, ie you are receptive to its sensations.

From the short "Are you unsure?" becomes a longer sentence: “I just have the impression that you are still undecided. Maybe my explanations were confusing. ” However, this procedure only has its full effect if you speak without a judgmental undertone, based on an accepting basic attitude. Then your tone has something casual about it.

Mediate normality

In this way you convey: It is the most normal of them World, to think like that or to feel like that feel, how your conversation partner is feeling at the moment. This accepting attitude triggers the need to explain oneself to the other person. And surprisingly, no questions are needed for that.

Only the naturalness with which you make a statement makes them something normal and natural. This contributes to relaxation and relief, but shows your tone that you remain completely calm and relaxed and find in what the other says, nothing special or unusual.

Interestingly, this leads most people to spontaneous continuation rather than a question. After all, answering questions is always accompanied by an automatic control mechanism, in which the answerer also asks himself whether and to what extent the answer is suitable for showing him in a good light or socially desirable act.

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